


promise me

by amyssantiago



Series: peraltiago archives [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Arguments, Comfort, Domestic, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Lots of Crying, M/M, Peraltiago, happy endings, hints of anxiety, hints of depression, kinda sad, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:46:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyssantiago/pseuds/amyssantiago
Summary: it's amy's day off, but unfortunately not jake's. she always says she's fine, but something about today felt different. something wasn't right, something jake began to realize later on in the morning.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: peraltiago archives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691182
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	promise me

**Author's Note:**

> this one is pretty fluffy, but dark oops. but it's just me projecting myself onto amy as always. enjoy, feel free to comment/leave kudos!

**_Third person POV_ **

  
_tw (maybe- read with caution_ _)_

Amy was sat on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. The tap was dripping constantly & it was beginning to drive her insane. But she didn't have the energy to get up and leave.  
Jake had gone out early that morning & they hadn't said a word to eachother. They had both been overwhelmed with work & bearly had time to relax or spend time together.

Amy was beginning to get _too_ overwhelmed by it all. She had no idea how Jake was able to cope with all this. He was working an incredibly hard case and so was she. Amy's not normally the type of person to get overwhelmed easily, especially by work, but it was all getting too much for her. Her relationship with Jake was slowly fading, she could feel herself losing him. She didn't understand what she did wrong- if anything.

As for the case she had been assigned, it was still as mind-numbingly-difficult to solve since the day she got it. With multiple obvious suspects with multiple different alibis. It had been over two months & she still hadn't solved it.

The more Amy procrastinated, the darker her thoughts got. They got more sickening & depressing as time went on, the dripping from the tap seemed to get louder and louder and more persistent until.. 

She snapped.

She got up off her feet and turned the tap as far as she possibly could. Until her hand flew off it and straight into the mirror behind, smashing it and leaving pieces of glass in her hand.

"Ow, dammit!" Amy yelled as she began pulling the small shards of glass from her (now bleeding) hand. Once she got them all out, she looked at herself in the mirror. She was face to face with her own worst enemy.

She looked at her nose

_-it's too big-_

She looked at her hair

_-it's too flat-_

She looked at her ears

_-they stick out-_

She pulled her hair out from behind her ears & made sure to try and hide them.

She looked herself in the eye.

"I can't do this anymore.." and her eyes began to fill with tears. She fell down onto the floor sobbing. Her tears dripped down onto the bathroom mat, the blood from her hand slowly went down her fingers and onto the floor.  
Then she heard her phone go off in the room next door. She stayed sat down & began wiping her hand with a piece of toilet paper. Then the ringing finally stopped & she took a deep breath.

_-come on Amy. grow up-_

Her parent's famous words from when she was a kid. Her phone then began ringing again.

"OH MY GOD" she shouted & instead of answering she got up and slammed the bathroom door shut. Locking herself inside and slid down the door, crying harder. Her phone finally stopped ringing after what seemed like a lifetime. But the room around her was beginning to get smaller. She then heard the house phone start ringing.   
"SHUT UP!" She yelled towards the direction of the ringing, as all her thoughts and emotions came rushing back to her. Seemingly trapping her in a huge void of anger, pain, worry & sorrow. Her crying worsened and she covered her ears, just waiting for the phone to stop ringing, her breathing to calm down, just waiting for this all to end. 

"Your call cannot be taken at the moment, please leave your message after the tone"

The answering machine was now on & a familiar voice came through.

"Ames? Ames? Amy?!"

It was Jake.

"Amy if you're there please pick up the phone I really need to know if you're okay"

She just began to cry more & breathing was almost impossible. Then her mobile started to ring once again.

"Amy please.. why aren't you picking up your mobile either.." He was getting desperate "This isn't funny now"

"Forget it Jake. We need to go," Boyle mumbled.

"No. Shut up."

"Amy please. I know you're there. Why aren't you answering the phone?"

"Jake give me the phone" Boyle said sternly.

"No! Boyle stop it!"

Her mobile stopped ringing

"No answer" Rosa shouted in the distance.

"Oh God.." Jake whimpered before hanging up.

—

_-great, now you've made Jake upset! well done Amy, nice work-_   
_-jake doesn't deserve you-_

Depressing, heartbreaking, thoughts plagued her mind and made her anxiety sky-rocket. They raced around her head like a rollercoaster and made her feel worse about everything. But she just couldn't gather enough courage to call him back.

She felt like she had no-one.

Like there was no-one she could turn to.

No-one at all.

The house phone then started ringing again. Amy crawled over to the small space inbetween the sink & the back wall of the bathroom and covered her ears again. She curled up into a ball and began to shut herself off from the world. She felt like she didn't even deserve to be alive anymore.

"Your call cannot be taken at the moment, please leave your message after the tone"

The answering machine again, Amy didn't listen.

She didn't want to hear what Jake had to say; or what Rosa had to say. 

She didn't want to hear anyone.

"Ames come on! Please pick up" Jake pleaded, but she didn't listen. The ding of the elevator then echoed through the phone.

"Right. I'm coming home" Jake then hung up.

—

The room once again seemed to be getting smaller when she lifted up her head. Amy felt exhausted and terrified, then collapsed into a heap against the bathroom wall. She felt sick from crying so much & the room got smaller & smaller & smaller, until..

she fainted; Hitting her head on the side of the sink & the cold floor as she fell.

_-small timeskip-_

"AMY? AMY!!" Jake cried as he burst into the apartment, quickly slamming the door behind him. He ripped off his coat & threw it on the counter. His bag was left in a heap, along with his shoes by the front door. "Ames come on WHERE ARE YOU?!" He whimpered as he paced throughout the apartment.

"Oh my God shit"

Amy awoke to the sound of Jake's voice screaming her name. Was it a dream? She winced as she got up, her blood in a small pool on the floor. She touched her head and it was throbbing. She let out a small cry of pain when she poked it with her finger. And even that was enough to start her off again. 

"AMY!" Jake shouted as he began to panic like never before. This made her cry even more. It made her feel like Jake was trying to hurt her. Or like she had done something wrong to him.

She didn't feel safe, even in her own home.

Jake then tried calling her mobile. He then followed the sound of her ringtone, but to no avail. He found it lying on her bedside table, just like when he left that morning.

"Oh shiiiit. AMY!" He shouted as he walked over towards the bathroom. Amy moved back & hid in the corner. She then put her head down and rested it on top of her knees.

"AMES?" Jake shouted as he tried to open the bathroom door.

_Locked._

"Oh my God! Amy are you in there?" 

She let out a small muffled cry before hiding her face away again.

"Ames please let me in" he knocked. She didn't move.

He knocked again, "Come on. What's up?"

"Amy please open the door. It's only me-" he said softly and he knocked on the door a couple more times. She eventually shuffled over to the door and opened it, her eyes were red & puffy.

Mascara was stained down her face and tears covered her shirt. It broke Jake's heart to see her like this. Amy quickly turned around and moved back towards her original position in the small gap inbetween the sink & the back wall; holding her knees in her arms and crying harder. 

"Amy don't do this to yourself" he stepped into the bathroom & knelt down infront of her. "What happened?"

"Jake-" she lifted her head "if you're here to yell at me.. Just leave" she whimpered & put her head back down again. 

"Ames.. why would I yell at you? Wait.. what happened to your head.. and your hand?" He got up and looked through the bathroom cabinets & eventually found some bandages.  
He placed them down on the floor & tucked a piece of hair behind Amy's ear. She lifted her head up again. She looked at him and burst into tears. He shuffled around and sat beside her with his back against the wall. He put his arm around her and she cried into his chest. 

"Jake.. why are you here?"

"Because I care about you Ames.."Jake smiled sadly, "and, you don't deserve to feel like this" he lifted up Amy's head & gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

"I do Jake.. I'm never going to be good enough for my parents, for holt.. or for anyone! Not even.." She looked him dead in the eye. "for you,"

"Amy are you kidding? You're so much better than me in every way!"

"You don't understand. I don't get why you even like me. I don't even get why you're even dating me. You're funnier than me and a way better detective. We've been so caught up with work lately, that we've bearly had time to hang out together. I-I feel like I'm losing you and I can't do anything to stop it" She said through sobs.

"Oh Amy-" He said softly, & rubbing her arm gently, "I know we haven't and I'm sorry, but don't worry, I'm sure we'll get through this. You'll never lose me Ames, I promise"

"Jake.. D-Do you still love me?"

"What? Of course I do! Why'd you say that?" 

"I-I don't-" Amy stumbled on her words & before she knew it, another flood of tears took over her.

Jake threw his arms around Amy and pulled her in close, "please, don't.. think like that again." he said trying to hold back his own tears "promise me"

"I can't promise anything.. but I'll try" Amy continued to cry as she snuggled up closer to Jake.

"Tell me if anything is bothering you okay? I'm always going to be here for you"

"Always?"

"Always. I love you" tears began to fill his eyes "-so much.. n-never forget that"

  
"I love you-" She started before she was overwhelmed by another stream of tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is always appreciated! thank you for reading <3


End file.
